Week 1
[Sat, 13 Nov 2010 14:37:31]
Thor cuts Incognito (Will Fidler) down for waving his weapon around
Incognito reports:
"I, the worlds worst assassin, Incognito (Will Fidler) was killed by [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN] for brandishing my two toy revolvers while in [UNDISCLOSED LOCATION]. I was clicking the guns when [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN] stealthily climbed the stairs and approached me. I turned around where my guns pointed at him and he preceded to stab me with a cardboard knife hidden in his hand. Oh dear :("
A civilian was then cut down to keep him quiet.
*+100 points : successful 'self-defence'*
*- 25 points : Civilian casualty*
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[Mon, 15 Nov 2010 14:31:11]
Thor and Singularity clash but both survive to fight again
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[Mon, 15 Nov 2010 10:57:52]
Bullemic Indestructabull Bull (David Knight) falls to the insidious threat that is Dark Mouse!
Dark Mouse reports:
"I, the vermin that lurks within the shadows, awoke as the sun rose. The streets outside were perilous, there was no darkness, my assassin could have been anywhere, yet they were not. I arrived at my target's house without incident, crossing the gapping canyons of the roads and passing by the horrifying prison of Stafford, the screams of the captured echoing through my mind, if I was caught, would I end up there?
In hand, through the letterbox, the letter went. Written was a request for allegiance to Mr. D. Knight of [UNSPECIFIED LOCATION], I wish to contact him, that is, if he survives. For inside the letter, on a small self-adhesive note in the bottom corner of the inside of the envelope is the poison that will kill my target. Let us see if he is worthy of being my ally, let us see if he survives."
He was later found dead along side a civilian who suffered the same unfortunate fate!
*+100 points: successful assassination*
*+10 points: bonus objective, kill with an indirect weapon*
*-25 points : Civilian casualty*
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
[Mon, 15 Nov 2010 20:41:00]
The Lone Gunman and Little conduct a ruthlessly efficient double-kill, taking out Clifford Clough (Jimmy Thomas) and The Artful Podger (Bill McGettigan)
The Lone Gunman reports:
"In grand defiance of his pseudonym, The Lone Gunman's first kill was neither with a gun or on his own! After tracking down Clifford Clough, he discovered that Little, one of his informants, had a target that not only knew him, but was going to the same place at the same time. One briefly-outlined plan later, the double hitmen drove to [LOCATION REDACTED], as they were due to pick them up for a night out. Little did they know that this drive would be their last - as Clifford loaded his effects into the boot, the Artful Podger sat comfortably in the back seat. On the count of three, both were silenced by the blades of the assassins. Maybe they should think twice about who their friends are next time..."
The Lone Gunman: *+100 points: successful assassination*
Little: *+100 points: successful assassination*
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[Mon, 15 Nov 2010 ~21:00:00]
Ricros (Robert Bulter) gets caught out in Adrenaline Sheep's 'safe shower'
Ricros reports:
"Sadly Ricros was destroyed last night at approximately 9:00pm when a safe was dropped on his head. The experience was painful and shameful as he was booted from assassinhood. Ricros now shamefully humbles to his ancestors for forgiveness but he ultimately knows he won’t have any until he has killed. He also puts his suggestion forward that assassins should take this seriously as it could be their last attempt."
Adrenaline Sheep reports:
"Ricros was happily enjoying the delights of his chosen intoxicant in the twilight hours of the 15th of November, at a location he was unaccustomed too, when all of a suddenly he needed evacuate his bladder. The amazingly keen eared Adrenaline Sheep took his opportunity as Ricros was heading down the corridor to the stairs which lead to the lavatory. The quick thinking Adrenaline Sheep suddenly exclaimed "I also need to evacuate my bladder, maybe before you "Ricros"" and rushed past heading up the stairs. He then quickly grabbed his pre-prepared safe, and aimed perfectly at his targets head, his accuracy was "off the chain" and the safe then became lodged to his targets head. Adrenaline Sheep then quietly celebrated to himself as to not inform others of the event that had just occurred."
*+100 points: successful assassination*
*+50 points: bonus objective, kill with a safe*
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
[Tue, 16 Nov 2010 09:44:37]
A civilian dies horrificly from RockBandFan973's mis-directed efforts
*-25 points : Civilian casualty*
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[Tue, 16 Nov 2010 12:31:41]
The Fuzzy Man (Ashley Morgan) dies by The Painted Shadow's hand
The Fuzzy Man reports:
"It was a cold November morning as the Fuzzy Man returned to Bridgewood house, it has been a long night of scouting out his future prey and the arctic conditions had taken it's toll. As he made his way to the front door
a familiar face popped out from behind a door and informed the Fuzzy Man of a letter.
Weary and tired he opened it and glanced at it's contents. It was poisoned!
The poison was fast acting, it had already numbed his right hand and he could feel it coursing through the veins of his arm, he knew he had to get upstairs, he had to get some antidote. Amassing all his strength he powered up the first flight of stairs, his legs giving way at the top. "I AM NOT DYING LIKE THIS!" he screamed crawling up the second. His life was flashing before his eyes, his simple life growing up in the country, the sweetheart he had back at home, it was all
slipping away. . .
The Fuzzy Man was found dead outside his door. White foam oozed from his mouth
as he clutched a scrap of paper, it read: "You have been assassinated by The Painted Shadow, Hugs and Kisses"."
*+100 points: successful assassination*
*+10 points: bonus objective, kill with an indirect weapon*
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
[Tue, 16 Nov 2010 18:38:07]
Pandy the Prince attempts to erase System32 but fails due to an access permission error.
System32 reports:
I hereby report a failed attempt on my life. There I was, cooking a mighty fine meal in my kitchen when to my surprise a civilian had knocked on my door asking for me, no sooner had they determined I was in the building my assassin ran round the corner shotgun raised. Luckily I dodged both shots and ran to my armoury. However on my return they had both fled the scene.As such, I am alive and well and now eating a fine meal.System32.
Pandy the Prince reports:
"I Left my Palace this fine evening saying goodbye to my wives saying i be back in some time soon. I opened my scroll to see who my target was. [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN]. I spent several hours researching this peasant. I then stalked his hideout, his home. I then employed a local villager to knock on the door of my unsuspecting target. The door opened...... He was inside. I came out my hiding place quickly and tried to fire upon my target. I unforgiving missed. Now he knows my face. Time for the indirect approach. I get you soon [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN]Pandy the Princep.s. can i have my nerf bullets back please."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
[Tue, 16 Nov 2010 23:08:06]
Orcus (Richard Fox) has been slain by Simpatiko
Simpatiko reports:
"I, the ever pleasant assassin true to my name, sought out to kill Richard Fox on a cold Tuesday morning. After doing some research using the ever informative social networking site Facebook, found out that my target Richard Fox is mutual friends with several of my trusted allies. One of my informants told me that he is a member of a club that has a meeting every Tuesday afternoon from 6:30pm till 9:00pm, I stealthily went to this club meeting and hid in the shadows waiting patiently for the time when he goes back home. In the midst of darkness I lost Richard Fox thinking that he drove home instead of walking or he took a different route, not to put my efforts in vain I decided to try my luck before heading home to check his house. To my surprise I see Richard Fox walking towards the house. I stopped him and pretended to be lost and asked for directions to my house, wary for any hidden weapons he could have in his pocket I swiftly pulled out my knife and stabbed him on the chest. At 9:20pm Richard Fox is now dead bathed in cold blood outside his house, maybe he should have listened to his parents when they told him not to talk to strangers."
*+100 points: successful assassination*
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[Wed, 17 Nov 2010 13:01:23]
The wisdom of the Norse protects Thyrmyr from a grizzly end
Thyrmyr reports:
"At 12:40pm, after seeking wisdom from my mentor, I traveled many leagues through perilous conditions (a short trip through the rain) and I returned to my Grand Hall. Upon attempting to enter my Chambers (bedroom) I noticed a piece of parchment wedged in the door of my Chamber from the Legion of Shamans and Witch Doctors (the NHS). Upon hearing ill tidings of poisoned letters, and therefore fearing assassination, I chose not to remove my battle gauntlets (gloves) before opening the letter. It was as I feared! An assassination attempt from The Terminator! I must commend my adversary for his cunning in recruiting the Legion of Shamans and Witch Doctors (the NHS) to do his bidding, however, he will have to be smarter than that if he wishes to assassinate me.
However, in recognition of this occassion, I, Thyrmyr, Legendary Norse Warrior (and lover of simple poetry) have written a limerick:
"Upon my return to my halls through the rain,
I saw parchment in my door frame,
Gloves were not removed,
And so wise it did prove,
now this attempt on my life was in vain!"
Thyrmyr"
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[Wed, 17 Nov 2010 14:46:52]
Civilian masacre by A Tactical Facepalm!
The Umpire recieved this report:
"At 2:30 exactly on Wednesday the 17th a letter was delivered, to [UNSPECIFIED LOCATION]. As one of our fellow assassins (David Knight (Dead Assassin)) had already been killed here - by means of poisoned envelope - our protector (civilian - Dean Morgan) collected the letter himself.It was as we feared, MORE POISON ANTHRAX!
He promptly died at the scene leaving a frothy mess of stomach acid over the floor...
Hearing the screams of pain I headed downstairs (David Knight) holding my breath and cautiously avoiding the puddles.Without thinking I snatched the letter from his hands in anger at another poison letter attempt, only to realise that without antidote in the house.. I too was dead..We know not who was targeted, [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN] or [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN] only that they both survive to fight again...
A Tactical Facepalm you have failed in your attempts, and killed 2 civilians who were very close to us!
A Shame upon you!!"
A Tactical Facepalm: *-50 points : Civilian casualty x2*
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[Wed, 17 Nov 2010 22:03:16]
Little deftly avoids Kira's double death-trap
Little reports:
'I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the mines beside my 2-wheel-man-powered-chariot only a few metres away. These mines were BIG, not the standard issue cardboard circles, I had to safely disarm them before they got any unwary civilians. I disarmed and moved them then returned to my 2-wheel-man-powered-chariot, something seemed wrong; those mines were white; against black gravel; even at night they were obvious it had to be a diversion. Using my 2-wheel-man-powered-chariot instant-fire-to-see-by I carefully inspected my 2-wheel-man-powered-chariot and discovered two stickers of fatal sabotage. I peeled these away to prevent an early death and continued my search. Finally I was ready to set off back to my hide-out but I could not escape the feeling that it would only be a matter of time until I cross blades with my would-be assassin; I must be prepared....'
Kira reports:
"Found out that [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN] was performing evil deeds without being procecuted. So I decided to take it upon myself that he should no longer be allowed to live. I decided that the most effect way to wipe him off the Earth was stabotage his bike. Unfortunately he discovered the points of sabotage and it was disarmed. Your crimes against humanity will be stopped [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN], I will get you - I'll need to be more creative. Be on your guard
Love, Kira"
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[Thu, 18 Nov 2010 01:52:23]
Mr. Black (Brett Page) suffers a splitting headache, courtesy of Count Reginald Van Tibblesworth
Count Reginald Van Tibblesworth reports:
"I woke up and taking my trusty mini mace of doom I exited my mansion and left for my tutorial in assasination. Deep in my mind I thought "this could be the day" safe in the knowldge my trusty mace was by my side.
When leaving the tutorial, due to the smallest of chances I noticed my target in the corner of my eye and my heart lept. Now could be the time.
Hiding in the shadows I folllowed my target, keeping my distance at all times waiting for the right moment to strike. With many stops and starts I kept my target in sight and unaware
As the target was waiting to cross the busy road, red man said no crossing and I decided that now was the time to strike.
I took the mace of doom from withing my pocket, the thought of my target seeing me crossed my mind but he wasnt that lucky. With one swift strike to the shoulder his body crumpled and he was left alone by the side of the road... what a mess.
R.I.P Brett Page."
Mr. Black reports:
"With great sorrow, I, Mr. Black, must report my death. Around Midday today after attending studies I was conntacted by an acossiate to meet in town. As I walking owards Town I waited at traffic lights to continue planning not realising the fate that was waiting for me.
As I had not been targeted in any way so far I had thought myself pretty safe from attempts on my life so as I glimpsed someone heading towards me I thought nothing of it "Just someone who is going to cross the street" I thought. Suddenly I was hit swiftly by a mace I had not noticed, across my back. I was done for, my body in shambles I was left to die in the gutter contemplating how I should have been more careful.
Mr. Black aka Brett Page"
*+100 points: successful assassination*
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[Thu, 18 Nov 2010 21:12:35]
L defeats Kira in a real life twist!
Little reports:
"After a fine meal of gallus gallus domesticus breast in a bun and fried strips of potato at the local young scholars' eatery I decided to escort my lady homewards. Kira knew my name and my face it was only a matter of time until it was too late; knowing this I had made sure I was prepared.
He could be anywhere, it appears he had been closer than I realised as he lunged for me. Using my cat-like reflexes the blade was prevented from cutting open my torso instead slicing the flesh of my arm, lunging back Kira dodged back and we faced each other, no longer as comrades, but mortal enemies and only one of us could live.
By this time we were halfway down a hill outside and the high ground was on my side, unlike my lady who had fled to safety at the bottom of the hill. With this in focus I realised that Kira had time on his side trumping my height advantage like a royal flush to a full house, this was made ever clearer by the blood and pain flowing from my arm. I had no choice but to strike for the heart with all my remaining strength and hope that my knife would find it target.
More to my surprise than relief Kira was knocked back and bounced down the hill stunned and with vast amounts of blood spraying from the wound to his heart. I was lucky to escape with only my flesh wound, I must be vigilant and watch for the next assassin who would take my life..."
*+100 points : successful self-defence*
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[Thu, 18 Nov 2010 21:14:34]
The Terminator (Alistair Grew) is tricked into spilling his guts for Butterfly of Doom
Butterfly of Doom reports:
Through extensive research on the mark, I discovered he had a scheduled, re-occurring event in the evening. Knowing this is planned to make my move once he had left the building. In order to approach the mark without suspicion, I acquired one of their members uniforms. Using this to make contact with the mark, I could get with killing range of them. In order to do this I had to choose a weapon. A gun would make too much noise, alerting the near by police and security guards. This left Poison or a Knife. Due to the numerous deaths of fellow assassins by poison, I couldnt risk the mark carrying an antidote, left the knife as the method of choice.
I crafted a custom made knife that could be concealed in the sleeve of a coat or jacket.
On the 18th November at aprox 7:50pm I proceeded to the marks location, bringing the uniform with me. Unfortunately, I was too late. The mark had already left. However, I had inserted a mole in the group, and he told me they had just left. Worried I may of missed my chance, I ran outside to see a large group of people walking away. I proceeded to follow them with haste. Using the uniform to make contact, I inform them I found it and was returning it to them. Looking around, I noticed my mark was not in the group before me. They had separated when I made contact. With the conversation ending, I quickly thought of a way to lure the mark over to me.
"I believe it had an invoice attached addressed to <target's Name>. The members turned around and quickly called him over to inspect it. after repeating the story of the uniform to him, he let his guard down.
I pointed to the shirt with my hand saying there is something hanging off it. As soon as he looked down at his hands, which were holding the item, I quickly thrusted my knife through his chest. Still shocked of this turn of events, the mark collapsed to the ground. The members around him were under awe of this deception. Realising the experience of myself, they promised to never speak of this event again in exchange for their life's. I warned them of the consequences of breaking this oath and made my leave of them.
*+100 points: successful assassination*
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[18 November 2010 19:35:54]
Flutter's (Carl Ayward) brave but maybe foolish attempt is denied by System32
Flutter reports:
Target: (Encryption level 3 required)
Date: 18/11/2010
Time: 1730 to 1915 (Estimated)
Location: (Encryption level 3 required)
Pre- Operation
After scouting for my target on the 15th and failing an opportunist attempt at the time I believe I now have enough information for a full attack. The target is expect to arrive by a one man transport vehicle to be parked and secured a short distance from the building his training session is taking place.
I will arrive a short time beforehand to place the area under surveillance and await the targets arrival. Should I be able to positivity identify the target and should the rules of engagement not prevent me from attacking I will make a first attempt.
Should I miss the target as he arrives I have arranged for an informant to contact me about the targets status. Using the information I receive will decide on my next move of a direct assault, stealth kill or abort attempt.
Operation
17:30
Left main base of operations to set up surveillance equipment and wait for my target.
17:50-18:15
Observed known allies of my target entering the building and possibly even the target himself however was unable to confirm.
18:15
Left surveillance post and returned to main base to await possible contact from my informant.
18:45
Informant is yet to contact me. Unless new information is discovered I will launch a direct assault.
19:20
Automated Action. Primary transmitter failure... Sending open report file with code: B9CC54
19:35
Automated Action. Secondary transmitter activated, downloading data... Detected stab wound, playing back final report. “Target spotted, allies are around him but I have not been detected. Moving to engage.”... Data analyse complete, activating failsafe, data transmitted to headquarters. System lockdown activated.
System32 reports:
"After an invigorating session of one of the finest sports known to mankind, I stepped into the cold outside, dressed so I could slip away quietly, and headed home. As I passed those who I had been playing with, an assassin burst from the foliage and fired into the crowd. Not standing for this actions I unsheathed my hidden knife and cut him down. Only his death was noted, I saw no harmed civilians."
*+100 points : successful 'self-defence'*
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[Fri, 19 Nov 2010 00:43:32]
Assassination attempt on ctbullet
ctbullet reports:
"One weary, dreary evening an unknown gentlemen descended upon my humble abode. The doorbell rang and with recent assassinations everywhere I opened with extreme caution whilst packing 'heat'. 'I have a Pizza for (deleted name)' said the gentlemen. In haste the door was slammed in his face and I retreated.
A few moments later fellow comrades arrived at my castle to pick up a crate of beverages they'd left recently.
2nd assault from my rather worthy but not quite adversary, little did said assassin know when the 2nd way commenced that my 2 friends who also a part of the bureau. As I retreated to retrieve a 'bomb of doom', I return to find my two friends had destroyed my assassins in self defence attacks known as 'Bang' kills.
Good effort but you'll have to step it up a lot fellow assassins"
A Tactical Facepalm: *+100 points : successful 'self-defence'*
NOTE: CIVILIANS MAY NOT BEAR ARMS IN THE GAME! (therefore these civilian kills to not count)
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[Fri, 19 Nov 2010 01:21:41]
The G-Spot Wizzard (Tom Halson) is felled by Salamar's hand
Salmar reports:
"One of my many spies reported to me the identity of my assasin and when he would strike after he foolishly blabbed about in public!
As he came I waited coiled and deadly like the black mamba, before I struck swiftly and silent like the night.
Cause of death was a nerf gun dart, straight through the heart.
Salmar
Date: 19/11/2010
Time: 8:30pm Approx
Result: Salmar lives to fight another day"
*+100 points : successful 'self-defence'*
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[Fri, 19 Nov 2010 02:43:45]
Poison Pizza plan falls through, leaving Count Reginald Van Tibblesworth to fight another day
Simpatiko reports:
"I, the ever pleasant assassin as always, wished for more bloodshed to be tasted by my hungry blade devised a plan to kill [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN]. At around 19:20 while resting in my humble mansion, enjoying the finest delicacies of the French Cuisine, I called upon my Butler to phone the finest Pizza Restaurant that can be found in Stafford to make a special Pepperoni Pizza fit for the Gods with no expense spared, just for [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN] as his last meal before his demise. While this special Pizza was being delicately prepared, I went away to [UNDISCLOSED LOCATION] on my trusted 2-Wheeled Stallion to look out for the Delivery Guy and stop him so that I can add the special ingredient “POISON” to this luxurious Pizza before it gets delivered to the unlucky recipient.
The time was 20:06 when I arrived at [UNDISCLOSED LOCATION] and just in time for the infamous Delivery Guy holding the Pizza, I stopped him and asked whether I could write something inside the box before he deliver’s it and tried to prove I was responsible for ordering the Pizza. In my efforts I was denied, not to waste my time and money I let him go and hid behind the bushes with “GRENADE” on my right hand and a Maverick named “TRIGUN” on my left ready to strike upon my target answering the door. The Delivery Guy knocks on the door, however he got completely turned down and the door to my prey got shut. Saddened by my plan failing and feeling guilty for the Delivery Guy I took the Pepperoni Pizza and disappeared in to the darkness. For tonight [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN] shall enjoy the little time he has left with his lucky escape, I give him credit for escaping this attack. But mark my words your days are numbered for I the ever pleasant assassin shall see you and slay you soon enough."
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[Fri, 19 Nov 2010 13:16:30]
Nom-Chompsky (Matt Scott) breathes his last, slain by Little's cuning employ of anthrax
*+100 points: successful assassination*
*+10 points: bonus objective, kill with an indirect weapon*
Thor cuts Incognito (Will Fidler) down for waving his weapon around
Incognito reports:
"I, the worlds worst assassin, Incognito (Will Fidler) was killed by [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN] for brandishing my two toy revolvers while in [UNDISCLOSED LOCATION]. I was clicking the guns when [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN] stealthily climbed the stairs and approached me. I turned around where my guns pointed at him and he preceded to stab me with a cardboard knife hidden in his hand. Oh dear :("
A civilian was then cut down to keep him quiet.
*+100 points : successful 'self-defence'*
*- 25 points : Civilian casualty*
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
[Mon, 15 Nov 2010 14:31:11]
Thor and Singularity clash but both survive to fight again
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[Mon, 15 Nov 2010 10:57:52]
Bullemic Indestructabull Bull (David Knight) falls to the insidious threat that is Dark Mouse!
Dark Mouse reports:
"I, the vermin that lurks within the shadows, awoke as the sun rose. The streets outside were perilous, there was no darkness, my assassin could have been anywhere, yet they were not. I arrived at my target's house without incident, crossing the gapping canyons of the roads and passing by the horrifying prison of Stafford, the screams of the captured echoing through my mind, if I was caught, would I end up there?
In hand, through the letterbox, the letter went. Written was a request for allegiance to Mr. D. Knight of [UNSPECIFIED LOCATION], I wish to contact him, that is, if he survives. For inside the letter, on a small self-adhesive note in the bottom corner of the inside of the envelope is the poison that will kill my target. Let us see if he is worthy of being my ally, let us see if he survives."
He was later found dead along side a civilian who suffered the same unfortunate fate!
*+100 points: successful assassination*
*+10 points: bonus objective, kill with an indirect weapon*
*-25 points : Civilian casualty*
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
[Mon, 15 Nov 2010 20:41:00]
The Lone Gunman and Little conduct a ruthlessly efficient double-kill, taking out Clifford Clough (Jimmy Thomas) and The Artful Podger (Bill McGettigan)
The Lone Gunman reports:
"In grand defiance of his pseudonym, The Lone Gunman's first kill was neither with a gun or on his own! After tracking down Clifford Clough, he discovered that Little, one of his informants, had a target that not only knew him, but was going to the same place at the same time. One briefly-outlined plan later, the double hitmen drove to [LOCATION REDACTED], as they were due to pick them up for a night out. Little did they know that this drive would be their last - as Clifford loaded his effects into the boot, the Artful Podger sat comfortably in the back seat. On the count of three, both were silenced by the blades of the assassins. Maybe they should think twice about who their friends are next time..."
The Lone Gunman: *+100 points: successful assassination*
Little: *+100 points: successful assassination*
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
[Mon, 15 Nov 2010 ~21:00:00]
Ricros (Robert Bulter) gets caught out in Adrenaline Sheep's 'safe shower'
Ricros reports:
"Sadly Ricros was destroyed last night at approximately 9:00pm when a safe was dropped on his head. The experience was painful and shameful as he was booted from assassinhood. Ricros now shamefully humbles to his ancestors for forgiveness but he ultimately knows he won’t have any until he has killed. He also puts his suggestion forward that assassins should take this seriously as it could be their last attempt."
Adrenaline Sheep reports:
"Ricros was happily enjoying the delights of his chosen intoxicant in the twilight hours of the 15th of November, at a location he was unaccustomed too, when all of a suddenly he needed evacuate his bladder. The amazingly keen eared Adrenaline Sheep took his opportunity as Ricros was heading down the corridor to the stairs which lead to the lavatory. The quick thinking Adrenaline Sheep suddenly exclaimed "I also need to evacuate my bladder, maybe before you "Ricros"" and rushed past heading up the stairs. He then quickly grabbed his pre-prepared safe, and aimed perfectly at his targets head, his accuracy was "off the chain" and the safe then became lodged to his targets head. Adrenaline Sheep then quietly celebrated to himself as to not inform others of the event that had just occurred."
*+100 points: successful assassination*
*+50 points: bonus objective, kill with a safe*
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
[Tue, 16 Nov 2010 09:44:37]
A civilian dies horrificly from RockBandFan973's mis-directed efforts
*-25 points : Civilian casualty*
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
[Tue, 16 Nov 2010 12:31:41]
The Fuzzy Man (Ashley Morgan) dies by The Painted Shadow's hand
The Fuzzy Man reports:
"It was a cold November morning as the Fuzzy Man returned to Bridgewood house, it has been a long night of scouting out his future prey and the arctic conditions had taken it's toll. As he made his way to the front door
a familiar face popped out from behind a door and informed the Fuzzy Man of a letter.
Weary and tired he opened it and glanced at it's contents. It was poisoned!
The poison was fast acting, it had already numbed his right hand and he could feel it coursing through the veins of his arm, he knew he had to get upstairs, he had to get some antidote. Amassing all his strength he powered up the first flight of stairs, his legs giving way at the top. "I AM NOT DYING LIKE THIS!" he screamed crawling up the second. His life was flashing before his eyes, his simple life growing up in the country, the sweetheart he had back at home, it was all
slipping away. . .
The Fuzzy Man was found dead outside his door. White foam oozed from his mouth
as he clutched a scrap of paper, it read: "You have been assassinated by The Painted Shadow, Hugs and Kisses"."
*+100 points: successful assassination*
*+10 points: bonus objective, kill with an indirect weapon*
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
[Tue, 16 Nov 2010 18:38:07]
Pandy the Prince attempts to erase System32 but fails due to an access permission error.
System32 reports:
I hereby report a failed attempt on my life. There I was, cooking a mighty fine meal in my kitchen when to my surprise a civilian had knocked on my door asking for me, no sooner had they determined I was in the building my assassin ran round the corner shotgun raised. Luckily I dodged both shots and ran to my armoury. However on my return they had both fled the scene.As such, I am alive and well and now eating a fine meal.System32.
Pandy the Prince reports:
"I Left my Palace this fine evening saying goodbye to my wives saying i be back in some time soon. I opened my scroll to see who my target was. [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN]. I spent several hours researching this peasant. I then stalked his hideout, his home. I then employed a local villager to knock on the door of my unsuspecting target. The door opened...... He was inside. I came out my hiding place quickly and tried to fire upon my target. I unforgiving missed. Now he knows my face. Time for the indirect approach. I get you soon [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN]Pandy the Princep.s. can i have my nerf bullets back please."
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
[Tue, 16 Nov 2010 23:08:06]
Orcus (Richard Fox) has been slain by Simpatiko
Simpatiko reports:
"I, the ever pleasant assassin true to my name, sought out to kill Richard Fox on a cold Tuesday morning. After doing some research using the ever informative social networking site Facebook, found out that my target Richard Fox is mutual friends with several of my trusted allies. One of my informants told me that he is a member of a club that has a meeting every Tuesday afternoon from 6:30pm till 9:00pm, I stealthily went to this club meeting and hid in the shadows waiting patiently for the time when he goes back home. In the midst of darkness I lost Richard Fox thinking that he drove home instead of walking or he took a different route, not to put my efforts in vain I decided to try my luck before heading home to check his house. To my surprise I see Richard Fox walking towards the house. I stopped him and pretended to be lost and asked for directions to my house, wary for any hidden weapons he could have in his pocket I swiftly pulled out my knife and stabbed him on the chest. At 9:20pm Richard Fox is now dead bathed in cold blood outside his house, maybe he should have listened to his parents when they told him not to talk to strangers."
*+100 points: successful assassination*
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[Wed, 17 Nov 2010 13:01:23]
The wisdom of the Norse protects Thyrmyr from a grizzly end
Thyrmyr reports:
"At 12:40pm, after seeking wisdom from my mentor, I traveled many leagues through perilous conditions (a short trip through the rain) and I returned to my Grand Hall. Upon attempting to enter my Chambers (bedroom) I noticed a piece of parchment wedged in the door of my Chamber from the Legion of Shamans and Witch Doctors (the NHS). Upon hearing ill tidings of poisoned letters, and therefore fearing assassination, I chose not to remove my battle gauntlets (gloves) before opening the letter. It was as I feared! An assassination attempt from The Terminator! I must commend my adversary for his cunning in recruiting the Legion of Shamans and Witch Doctors (the NHS) to do his bidding, however, he will have to be smarter than that if he wishes to assassinate me.
However, in recognition of this occassion, I, Thyrmyr, Legendary Norse Warrior (and lover of simple poetry) have written a limerick:
"Upon my return to my halls through the rain,
I saw parchment in my door frame,
Gloves were not removed,
And so wise it did prove,
now this attempt on my life was in vain!"
Thyrmyr"
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[Wed, 17 Nov 2010 14:46:52]
Civilian masacre by A Tactical Facepalm!
The Umpire recieved this report:
"At 2:30 exactly on Wednesday the 17th a letter was delivered, to [UNSPECIFIED LOCATION]. As one of our fellow assassins (David Knight (Dead Assassin)) had already been killed here - by means of poisoned envelope - our protector (civilian - Dean Morgan) collected the letter himself.It was as we feared, MORE POISON ANTHRAX!
He promptly died at the scene leaving a frothy mess of stomach acid over the floor...
Hearing the screams of pain I headed downstairs (David Knight) holding my breath and cautiously avoiding the puddles.Without thinking I snatched the letter from his hands in anger at another poison letter attempt, only to realise that without antidote in the house.. I too was dead..We know not who was targeted, [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN] or [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN] only that they both survive to fight again...
A Tactical Facepalm you have failed in your attempts, and killed 2 civilians who were very close to us!
A Shame upon you!!"
A Tactical Facepalm: *-50 points : Civilian casualty x2*
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[Wed, 17 Nov 2010 22:03:16]
Little deftly avoids Kira's double death-trap
Little reports:
'I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the mines beside my 2-wheel-man-powered-chariot only a few metres away. These mines were BIG, not the standard issue cardboard circles, I had to safely disarm them before they got any unwary civilians. I disarmed and moved them then returned to my 2-wheel-man-powered-chariot, something seemed wrong; those mines were white; against black gravel; even at night they were obvious it had to be a diversion. Using my 2-wheel-man-powered-chariot instant-fire-to-see-by I carefully inspected my 2-wheel-man-powered-chariot and discovered two stickers of fatal sabotage. I peeled these away to prevent an early death and continued my search. Finally I was ready to set off back to my hide-out but I could not escape the feeling that it would only be a matter of time until I cross blades with my would-be assassin; I must be prepared....'
Kira reports:
"Found out that [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN] was performing evil deeds without being procecuted. So I decided to take it upon myself that he should no longer be allowed to live. I decided that the most effect way to wipe him off the Earth was stabotage his bike. Unfortunately he discovered the points of sabotage and it was disarmed. Your crimes against humanity will be stopped [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN], I will get you - I'll need to be more creative. Be on your guard
Love, Kira"
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[Thu, 18 Nov 2010 01:52:23]
Mr. Black (Brett Page) suffers a splitting headache, courtesy of Count Reginald Van Tibblesworth
Count Reginald Van Tibblesworth reports:
"I woke up and taking my trusty mini mace of doom I exited my mansion and left for my tutorial in assasination. Deep in my mind I thought "this could be the day" safe in the knowldge my trusty mace was by my side.
When leaving the tutorial, due to the smallest of chances I noticed my target in the corner of my eye and my heart lept. Now could be the time.
Hiding in the shadows I folllowed my target, keeping my distance at all times waiting for the right moment to strike. With many stops and starts I kept my target in sight and unaware
As the target was waiting to cross the busy road, red man said no crossing and I decided that now was the time to strike.
I took the mace of doom from withing my pocket, the thought of my target seeing me crossed my mind but he wasnt that lucky. With one swift strike to the shoulder his body crumpled and he was left alone by the side of the road... what a mess.
R.I.P Brett Page."
Mr. Black reports:
"With great sorrow, I, Mr. Black, must report my death. Around Midday today after attending studies I was conntacted by an acossiate to meet in town. As I walking owards Town I waited at traffic lights to continue planning not realising the fate that was waiting for me.
As I had not been targeted in any way so far I had thought myself pretty safe from attempts on my life so as I glimpsed someone heading towards me I thought nothing of it "Just someone who is going to cross the street" I thought. Suddenly I was hit swiftly by a mace I had not noticed, across my back. I was done for, my body in shambles I was left to die in the gutter contemplating how I should have been more careful.
Mr. Black aka Brett Page"
*+100 points: successful assassination*
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[Thu, 18 Nov 2010 21:12:35]
L defeats Kira in a real life twist!
Little reports:
"After a fine meal of gallus gallus domesticus breast in a bun and fried strips of potato at the local young scholars' eatery I decided to escort my lady homewards. Kira knew my name and my face it was only a matter of time until it was too late; knowing this I had made sure I was prepared.
He could be anywhere, it appears he had been closer than I realised as he lunged for me. Using my cat-like reflexes the blade was prevented from cutting open my torso instead slicing the flesh of my arm, lunging back Kira dodged back and we faced each other, no longer as comrades, but mortal enemies and only one of us could live.
By this time we were halfway down a hill outside and the high ground was on my side, unlike my lady who had fled to safety at the bottom of the hill. With this in focus I realised that Kira had time on his side trumping my height advantage like a royal flush to a full house, this was made ever clearer by the blood and pain flowing from my arm. I had no choice but to strike for the heart with all my remaining strength and hope that my knife would find it target.
More to my surprise than relief Kira was knocked back and bounced down the hill stunned and with vast amounts of blood spraying from the wound to his heart. I was lucky to escape with only my flesh wound, I must be vigilant and watch for the next assassin who would take my life..."
*+100 points : successful self-defence*
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[Thu, 18 Nov 2010 21:14:34]
The Terminator (Alistair Grew) is tricked into spilling his guts for Butterfly of Doom
Butterfly of Doom reports:
Through extensive research on the mark, I discovered he had a scheduled, re-occurring event in the evening. Knowing this is planned to make my move once he had left the building. In order to approach the mark without suspicion, I acquired one of their members uniforms. Using this to make contact with the mark, I could get with killing range of them. In order to do this I had to choose a weapon. A gun would make too much noise, alerting the near by police and security guards. This left Poison or a Knife. Due to the numerous deaths of fellow assassins by poison, I couldnt risk the mark carrying an antidote, left the knife as the method of choice.
I crafted a custom made knife that could be concealed in the sleeve of a coat or jacket.
On the 18th November at aprox 7:50pm I proceeded to the marks location, bringing the uniform with me. Unfortunately, I was too late. The mark had already left. However, I had inserted a mole in the group, and he told me they had just left. Worried I may of missed my chance, I ran outside to see a large group of people walking away. I proceeded to follow them with haste. Using the uniform to make contact, I inform them I found it and was returning it to them. Looking around, I noticed my mark was not in the group before me. They had separated when I made contact. With the conversation ending, I quickly thought of a way to lure the mark over to me.
"I believe it had an invoice attached addressed to <target's Name>. The members turned around and quickly called him over to inspect it. after repeating the story of the uniform to him, he let his guard down.
I pointed to the shirt with my hand saying there is something hanging off it. As soon as he looked down at his hands, which were holding the item, I quickly thrusted my knife through his chest. Still shocked of this turn of events, the mark collapsed to the ground. The members around him were under awe of this deception. Realising the experience of myself, they promised to never speak of this event again in exchange for their life's. I warned them of the consequences of breaking this oath and made my leave of them.
*+100 points: successful assassination*
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[18 November 2010 19:35:54]
Flutter's (Carl Ayward) brave but maybe foolish attempt is denied by System32
Flutter reports:
Target: (Encryption level 3 required)
Date: 18/11/2010
Time: 1730 to 1915 (Estimated)
Location: (Encryption level 3 required)
Pre- Operation
After scouting for my target on the 15th and failing an opportunist attempt at the time I believe I now have enough information for a full attack. The target is expect to arrive by a one man transport vehicle to be parked and secured a short distance from the building his training session is taking place.
I will arrive a short time beforehand to place the area under surveillance and await the targets arrival. Should I be able to positivity identify the target and should the rules of engagement not prevent me from attacking I will make a first attempt.
Should I miss the target as he arrives I have arranged for an informant to contact me about the targets status. Using the information I receive will decide on my next move of a direct assault, stealth kill or abort attempt.
Operation
17:30
Left main base of operations to set up surveillance equipment and wait for my target.
17:50-18:15
Observed known allies of my target entering the building and possibly even the target himself however was unable to confirm.
18:15
Left surveillance post and returned to main base to await possible contact from my informant.
18:45
Informant is yet to contact me. Unless new information is discovered I will launch a direct assault.
19:20
Automated Action. Primary transmitter failure... Sending open report file with code: B9CC54
19:35
Automated Action. Secondary transmitter activated, downloading data... Detected stab wound, playing back final report. “Target spotted, allies are around him but I have not been detected. Moving to engage.”... Data analyse complete, activating failsafe, data transmitted to headquarters. System lockdown activated.
System32 reports:
"After an invigorating session of one of the finest sports known to mankind, I stepped into the cold outside, dressed so I could slip away quietly, and headed home. As I passed those who I had been playing with, an assassin burst from the foliage and fired into the crowd. Not standing for this actions I unsheathed my hidden knife and cut him down. Only his death was noted, I saw no harmed civilians."
*+100 points : successful 'self-defence'*
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[Fri, 19 Nov 2010 00:43:32]
Assassination attempt on ctbullet
ctbullet reports:
"One weary, dreary evening an unknown gentlemen descended upon my humble abode. The doorbell rang and with recent assassinations everywhere I opened with extreme caution whilst packing 'heat'. 'I have a Pizza for (deleted name)' said the gentlemen. In haste the door was slammed in his face and I retreated.
A few moments later fellow comrades arrived at my castle to pick up a crate of beverages they'd left recently.
2nd assault from my rather worthy but not quite adversary, little did said assassin know when the 2nd way commenced that my 2 friends who also a part of the bureau. As I retreated to retrieve a 'bomb of doom', I return to find my two friends had destroyed my assassins in self defence attacks known as 'Bang' kills.
Good effort but you'll have to step it up a lot fellow assassins"
A Tactical Facepalm: *+100 points : successful 'self-defence'*
NOTE: CIVILIANS MAY NOT BEAR ARMS IN THE GAME! (therefore these civilian kills to not count)
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[Fri, 19 Nov 2010 01:21:41]
The G-Spot Wizzard (Tom Halson) is felled by Salamar's hand
Salmar reports:
"One of my many spies reported to me the identity of my assasin and when he would strike after he foolishly blabbed about in public!
As he came I waited coiled and deadly like the black mamba, before I struck swiftly and silent like the night.
Cause of death was a nerf gun dart, straight through the heart.
Salmar
Date: 19/11/2010
Time: 8:30pm Approx
Result: Salmar lives to fight another day"
*+100 points : successful 'self-defence'*
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[Fri, 19 Nov 2010 02:43:45]
Poison Pizza plan falls through, leaving Count Reginald Van Tibblesworth to fight another day
Simpatiko reports:
"I, the ever pleasant assassin as always, wished for more bloodshed to be tasted by my hungry blade devised a plan to kill [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN]. At around 19:20 while resting in my humble mansion, enjoying the finest delicacies of the French Cuisine, I called upon my Butler to phone the finest Pizza Restaurant that can be found in Stafford to make a special Pepperoni Pizza fit for the Gods with no expense spared, just for [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN] as his last meal before his demise. While this special Pizza was being delicately prepared, I went away to [UNDISCLOSED LOCATION] on my trusted 2-Wheeled Stallion to look out for the Delivery Guy and stop him so that I can add the special ingredient “POISON” to this luxurious Pizza before it gets delivered to the unlucky recipient.
The time was 20:06 when I arrived at [UNDISCLOSED LOCATION] and just in time for the infamous Delivery Guy holding the Pizza, I stopped him and asked whether I could write something inside the box before he deliver’s it and tried to prove I was responsible for ordering the Pizza. In my efforts I was denied, not to waste my time and money I let him go and hid behind the bushes with “GRENADE” on my right hand and a Maverick named “TRIGUN” on my left ready to strike upon my target answering the door. The Delivery Guy knocks on the door, however he got completely turned down and the door to my prey got shut. Saddened by my plan failing and feeling guilty for the Delivery Guy I took the Pepperoni Pizza and disappeared in to the darkness. For tonight [UNDISCLOSED ASSASSIN] shall enjoy the little time he has left with his lucky escape, I give him credit for escaping this attack. But mark my words your days are numbered for I the ever pleasant assassin shall see you and slay you soon enough."
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[Fri, 19 Nov 2010 13:16:30]
Nom-Chompsky (Matt Scott) breathes his last, slain by Little's cuning employ of anthrax
*+100 points: successful assassination*
*+10 points: bonus objective, kill with an indirect weapon*