Week 1
Ben Kadel makes use of his Kudos reward for winning the last game with an extra life potion
Ben Kadel Reports : -
I purchased an Extra Life ....
This is me smelling it...
I purchased an Extra Life ....
This is me smelling it...
This is me Drinking it...
This is me being disgusted at the awful taste...
NOT WORTH IT :<
NOT WORTH IT :<
Umpires Notes : -
Worth it!!!
Please note that I used Bens real name so that it didn't instantly give away his pseudonym.
Worth it!!!
Please note that I used Bens real name so that it didn't instantly give away his pseudonym.
First Blood!
Blumpkin successfully kills Tiny Carl Jung but does he survive the mine attack?
unit twenty-five reports : -
This afternoon on the way to a sporting event, i decided to take a D-tour to my Target's house and plant some mines where i thought he'd exit his house. As he showed up alive and well, i assumed he had not encountered my trap.
This evening on the way back to base i decided to place the mines by the front door, as intelligence from the victim suggested this as the likely entrance he would take.
Before setting out on this mission, however, i made sure that he wasn't at home. As it turns out he was enjoying his last meal with some chums.
But will the mines detonate on the intended target? Only time will tell.
blumpkin Reports : -
After eating his discarded meal JakeLaslett [Tiny Carl Jung] proceeded to exit the bar. I played off the innocent bystander to the max. With 'shurikan' in hand I darted at my target spinning my shurikan at high velocity. It sliced his stomach to shreds smearing blood splatters all over the pavement.
Fingers crossed this is first blood!
Blumpkin successfully kills Tiny Carl Jung but does he survive the mine attack?
unit twenty-five reports : -
This afternoon on the way to a sporting event, i decided to take a D-tour to my Target's house and plant some mines where i thought he'd exit his house. As he showed up alive and well, i assumed he had not encountered my trap.
This evening on the way back to base i decided to place the mines by the front door, as intelligence from the victim suggested this as the likely entrance he would take.
Before setting out on this mission, however, i made sure that he wasn't at home. As it turns out he was enjoying his last meal with some chums.
But will the mines detonate on the intended target? Only time will tell.
blumpkin Reports : -
After eating his discarded meal JakeLaslett [Tiny Carl Jung] proceeded to exit the bar. I played off the innocent bystander to the max. With 'shurikan' in hand I darted at my target spinning my shurikan at high velocity. It sliced his stomach to shreds smearing blood splatters all over the pavement.
Fingers crossed this is first blood!
blumpkin Later Reports : -
The only reason I know who the failed assassins mine trap was because he signed himself off....Unique but I'll go with it
I returned to my humble abode to see two mines littered on my garden path. I panicked and was unaware of how to successfully disarm said land mine so a friend of mine picked them up and turned them over. There is was 'mine by unit twenty - five'. Nice try but not good enough
Umpires Notes : -
Nice work Blumpkin. Remember that mines can be disarmed if you pick them up. If you stand on them however.... BOOM!
The only reason I know who the failed assassins mine trap was because he signed himself off....Unique but I'll go with it
I returned to my humble abode to see two mines littered on my garden path. I panicked and was unaware of how to successfully disarm said land mine so a friend of mine picked them up and turned them over. There is was 'mine by unit twenty - five'. Nice try but not good enough
Umpires Notes : -
Nice work Blumpkin. Remember that mines can be disarmed if you pick them up. If you stand on them however.... BOOM!
Master Bumbumin [Ed Wynn] get's a grenade up the Bumbum and Pseudonymph [Jason Whitaker] goes out with a bang!
Crazy_Ivan reports : -
Comrades can make difference between to operation succeeding and operation failing. It is important to have brother in arm to watch back and in planning stage two heads are better then one, yes? Me and Comrade Pringle planned to strike our target (we had same person) at night and for us both to get kill. However just like 2nd Ukrainian front in ’42 things do not always go as planned. On way to target’s house Comrade Pringle received call from umpire telling him that he had been assigned wrong target. In display of true soviet comradeship he still agreed to help carry out the operation, electing to film attempt on target on mobile telephone camera. We go into rear garden, staying in cover of shadows and see target playing game of video alone in man communal area of house. I open back door, threw trusty grenade and retreated for fear repercussion from his allies.
Crazy_Ivan reports : -
Comrades can make difference between to operation succeeding and operation failing. It is important to have brother in arm to watch back and in planning stage two heads are better then one, yes? Me and Comrade Pringle planned to strike our target (we had same person) at night and for us both to get kill. However just like 2nd Ukrainian front in ’42 things do not always go as planned. On way to target’s house Comrade Pringle received call from umpire telling him that he had been assigned wrong target. In display of true soviet comradeship he still agreed to help carry out the operation, electing to film attempt on target on mobile telephone camera. We go into rear garden, staying in cover of shadows and see target playing game of video alone in man communal area of house. I open back door, threw trusty grenade and retreated for fear repercussion from his allies.
James Harold Pringle : -
It was late, a pitch black night. Myself and my Russian partner were on the hunt. We had the same target and agreed to split the glory. Just before arriving at location X I got an urgent message from High command. Someone had infiltrated our server and provided me with incorrect intel. The real target was then revealed. Not wanting to waste a trip and being the brilliant English mind that I am, decided to film the barbaric Russian in action. I watched on with some smart level of satisfaction as he breached the stronghold and hurled a grenade into the target. He laughed as pieces of the poor boy flew everywhere. *Footage to be uploaded once converted* Poor Master Bumbumin she was such a pretty girl.
It was late, a pitch black night. Myself and my Russian partner were on the hunt. We had the same target and agreed to split the glory. Just before arriving at location X I got an urgent message from High command. Someone had infiltrated our server and provided me with incorrect intel. The real target was then revealed. Not wanting to waste a trip and being the brilliant English mind that I am, decided to film the barbaric Russian in action. I watched on with some smart level of satisfaction as he breached the stronghold and hurled a grenade into the target. He laughed as pieces of the poor boy flew everywhere. *Footage to be uploaded once converted* Poor Master Bumbumin she was such a pretty girl.
Crazy_Ivan Later Reports : -
Under cover of darkness I set out to strike my target, believing him to be not expecting to be attacked. Seconds past like hours as I skulked around my target’s house like fascist rat. Such methods though not preferred are necessary for success of operation. Peering through back windows I see my target was not in main communal area of house. All of sudden I was bathed in pool of light, I scrambled to nearest shadow only to look up and see my target in kitchen. My heart stopped, had he located me? I see no change in target’s movements but on hearing him move back into communal area I decide to strike. Squeaky hinge door thwarted subtle entry through front and alerted target. I attempted to trick target by maintaining that I had received no targets due to breakdown in communications. Target was no fool however, shielding himself behind door frame. Something must have tipped him off as he bolted back into room. I shouted, I threw my grenade in, I retreated to the darkness, nearly tripping over cleverly positioned bush.
Under cover of darkness I set out to strike my target, believing him to be not expecting to be attacked. Seconds past like hours as I skulked around my target’s house like fascist rat. Such methods though not preferred are necessary for success of operation. Peering through back windows I see my target was not in main communal area of house. All of sudden I was bathed in pool of light, I scrambled to nearest shadow only to look up and see my target in kitchen. My heart stopped, had he located me? I see no change in target’s movements but on hearing him move back into communal area I decide to strike. Squeaky hinge door thwarted subtle entry through front and alerted target. I attempted to trick target by maintaining that I had received no targets due to breakdown in communications. Target was no fool however, shielding himself behind door frame. Something must have tipped him off as he bolted back into room. I shouted, I threw my grenade in, I retreated to the darkness, nearly tripping over cleverly positioned bush.
Pseudonymph reports : -
As I was readying myself for a night of rest I noticed the front door open... creeeeeaaaak....
Within the doorway appeared a shadowy figure. I hid round the living room corner, poking my head round. After a little bit of sketchy banter about the game of assassins going on I was lured into thinking my target might not be an assassin (and sadly for him may have not received a writ yet :( ). With that I slightly let my guard down, though it was not down fully that was enough opportunity for the assassin to strike
Next thing I heard was a shout of GRENADE!!!!!
Alas I didn't see where the grenade hit from behind my hiding door , though I'm taking a room full of my limbs to be a sign that alas, I was blown the fuck up...
shit :<
(P.s. ha ha, its my grenade now!!!)
As I was readying myself for a night of rest I noticed the front door open... creeeeeaaaak....
Within the doorway appeared a shadowy figure. I hid round the living room corner, poking my head round. After a little bit of sketchy banter about the game of assassins going on I was lured into thinking my target might not be an assassin (and sadly for him may have not received a writ yet :( ). With that I slightly let my guard down, though it was not down fully that was enough opportunity for the assassin to strike
Next thing I heard was a shout of GRENADE!!!!!
Alas I didn't see where the grenade hit from behind my hiding door , though I'm taking a room full of my limbs to be a sign that alas, I was blown the fuck up...
shit :<
(P.s. ha ha, its my grenade now!!!)
Saul Peabrook evades attack!
Saul Peabrook Reports : -
For an assassin even a mundane act such as hearing a knock on the door is enough to send alarm bells ringing. It should be no surprise therefore that when I heard a tapping on the door late last night I was suddenly on guard. With some quick thinking I opened the door a fraction and got my housemate to look outside, where lo and behold my would be assassins lay in wait with a grenade!
Slamming the door I gave out a hearty laugh. There's no way they could get inside without the key, these walls are made of military grade brick....
Saul Peabrook Reports : -
For an assassin even a mundane act such as hearing a knock on the door is enough to send alarm bells ringing. It should be no surprise therefore that when I heard a tapping on the door late last night I was suddenly on guard. With some quick thinking I opened the door a fraction and got my housemate to look outside, where lo and behold my would be assassins lay in wait with a grenade!
Slamming the door I gave out a hearty laugh. There's no way they could get inside without the key, these walls are made of military grade brick....
"In pepsi we trust" is blown away by threshold
Threshold Reports : -
Having received a message via Digital Pigeon that one of my marks had already been killed, I was informed that my target had been changed to none other than James Fraser [In pepsi we trust].
Fortunately I was able to act swiftly on this matter.
The unsuspecting James was drawn forth from his room with the promises of Elvish Waybread and coffee to drink and ruminate on our day.
His guard lowered, I was able to easily draw upon my trusty sidearm and blow him away as he began his pre-meal preparation.
With a look of betrayal in his eyes his corpse feel to the floor.
Requiescat In Pace my dear friend.
Threshold Reports : -
Having received a message via Digital Pigeon that one of my marks had already been killed, I was informed that my target had been changed to none other than James Fraser [In pepsi we trust].
Fortunately I was able to act swiftly on this matter.
The unsuspecting James was drawn forth from his room with the promises of Elvish Waybread and coffee to drink and ruminate on our day.
His guard lowered, I was able to easily draw upon my trusty sidearm and blow him away as he began his pre-meal preparation.
With a look of betrayal in his eyes his corpse feel to the floor.
Requiescat In Pace my dear friend.
In Pepsi we trust reports : -
After a friendly invite out to help in the preparation of food stuffs I felt a salvo of high caliber rounds perforate my chest, as i fell back on to the cold kitchen, my life fading away, for some reason my last words were " DON'T PROVOKE THE BORG!"
After a friendly invite out to help in the preparation of food stuffs I felt a salvo of high caliber rounds perforate my chest, as i fell back on to the cold kitchen, my life fading away, for some reason my last words were " DON'T PROVOKE THE BORG!"
Johnny Foreigner [Patrick Shelton] hunts his prey
Johnny Foreigner reports : -
*To be read in dodgy German accent*
Today, I try kill to target, ja?
So, I hide in crowds with mein companion, Helmutt, and wait for target. But target does not show his gesicht. Scheisse!
You survive this time, ja? But you can bet your lederhosen I'll get you soon.
Later than night Johnny Foreigner reports : -
*To be read in a dodgy German accent*
Ich bin dead.
After I take a schower I sat down to watch Green Hornet with meine freunde. While we watch filme the door bürst open und I get shot in der kopf, ane of meine freunde almost died from shock.
I am told that my death is because of betrayal from one of meine so-called freunde.
Scheisse!
The Umpires hired Clean up Crew Reports: -
As you all know, after each assassination some poor sod has to go round with a wheelbarrow and a mop to remove all of the corpses. Upon entering the home of Johnny Foreigner we found a few nasty surprises....
We encountered a ferocious attack dog; it's collar read "Helmutt the Killer German Shepherd".
We also found what appears to be some kind of trap, a note attached read.
"Behold the booby-trap that defends me while I reside in my chambers!
The mini-fridge is strung up above my door, with the string running across my ceiling, down the opposite wall and onto my desk. All I need to do to spring the trap is lift the bottle weighting down the string.
Just imagine the damage the mini-fridge would inflict when it drops on the head of a would-be assassin!Please ConfirmI confirm that anyone shown in these images/videos has given permission for the file to be uploaded to the site."
"Behold the booby-trap that defends me while I reside in my chambers!
The mini-fridge is strung up above my door, with the string running across my ceiling, down the opposite wall and onto my desk. All I need to do to spring the trap is lift the bottle weighting down the string.
Just imagine the damage the mini-fridge would inflict when it drops on the head of a would-be assassin!Please ConfirmI confirm that anyone shown in these images/videos has given permission for the file to be uploaded to the site."
Umpires Notes : -
The Umpire would like to award Johnny Foreigner (R.I.P) 50 Kudos for the attack dog and 400 for the trap. If the trap had successfully killed someone then a much greater reward would have been given.
The Umpire would like to award Johnny Foreigner (R.I.P) 50 Kudos for the attack dog and 400 for the trap. If the trap had successfully killed someone then a much greater reward would have been given.
Crazy_Ivan Reports : -
This becoming something of habit for me. Night, through back entrance, Comrade Pringle at my side filming on mobile telephone camera. We advance through target’s garden in standard formation, paying no heed to automatic lamp. Pausing at back door, I check door frame and kitchen floor for trap. None found, we enter. Another squeaky door but the target hears nothing due to television show. We hear target and his allies in main communal area of house, this will not be easy I think, all three are experienced veterans and is good chance that they have their weapons in arms reach. A swift decisive is required. Comrade Pringle hands me American lever action rifle, whilst no product of glorious Motherland it will serve it purpose especially with camera attachment. I creep towards around door, raise rifle and fire. Swift action always brings swift reaction so I and Comrade Pringle disappear back into blessed night.
This becoming something of habit for me. Night, through back entrance, Comrade Pringle at my side filming on mobile telephone camera. We advance through target’s garden in standard formation, paying no heed to automatic lamp. Pausing at back door, I check door frame and kitchen floor for trap. None found, we enter. Another squeaky door but the target hears nothing due to television show. We hear target and his allies in main communal area of house, this will not be easy I think, all three are experienced veterans and is good chance that they have their weapons in arms reach. A swift decisive is required. Comrade Pringle hands me American lever action rifle, whilst no product of glorious Motherland it will serve it purpose especially with camera attachment. I creep towards around door, raise rifle and fire. Swift action always brings swift reaction so I and Comrade Pringle disappear back into blessed night.
James Harold Pringle Reports : -
I had gain myself a double agent working for the foreigners. Being an old English type, I'm obviously completely racist. None other was worse than Johnny Foreigner. I convince his comrade to leave access to their stronghold available, in return for some citizenship. I grabbed Crazy_Ivan and provided him cover as his gunned down the Airian before he could spread Hitlers filth. Recording their screams on my fancy mobile device. Another day safe from the Jerrys.
I had gain myself a double agent working for the foreigners. Being an old English type, I'm obviously completely racist. None other was worse than Johnny Foreigner. I convince his comrade to leave access to their stronghold available, in return for some citizenship. I grabbed Crazy_Ivan and provided him cover as his gunned down the Airian before he could spread Hitlers filth. Recording their screams on my fancy mobile device. Another day safe from the Jerrys.
Saul Peabrook [Paul Seabrook], assassinated just when he though he was *safe*
Crazy_Ivan kills Saul Peabrook after Peabrook kills James Harold Pringle [Jonny Perry]
Crazy_Ivan Reports : -
The motherland expects great things from her sons even if it means paying ultimate sacrifice. Comrade James Howard Pringle, true Hero of Motherland was dead at my feet, killed by safe wielding madman Saul Peabrook. No time for remorse, I had to think of a way out of enemy territory. Whilst deciding on best plan of action I see Peabrook collecting his safe. I pull out trusty sidearm, the spirits of fallen comrades guiding me, I take aim and shoot. Vengeance, cold as Ural winters, was mine.
Saul Peabrook reports : -
I thought I'd learnt from last night....
With a feeling of Déjà vu I decided it would be prudent not to answer the door when I heard a knock for the second night in a row, leaving my french housemate to answer the door in my place. A wise decision as soon after I heard the scuffles of an assassin downstairs...
Realising I had left myself woefully underdefended I dashed for the grenade store / toilet to pick up some toilet tube looking grenades. I grabbed them and ran back into my room to prime the grenades for detonation. "These would be my back up weapons" I thought to myself. I had already decided on my weapon of choice...
Using superhuman strength I ripped my safe out of the floor as I spied my would be assassin lying on the stairs in wait for me with his bow. Without stopping to think I attacked, and moments later my would be assassin, Posh Jonnie, was just a stain on my stairs.
It was over I thought, and time to clean up the mess.... Going to collect the safe I had barely picked it up before I noticed something in the corner of my eye. The last thing I saw was the flash from a gun of a second assassin, how careless of me! Still, an eye for an eye....
Crazy_Ivan kills Saul Peabrook after Peabrook kills James Harold Pringle [Jonny Perry]
Crazy_Ivan Reports : -
The motherland expects great things from her sons even if it means paying ultimate sacrifice. Comrade James Howard Pringle, true Hero of Motherland was dead at my feet, killed by safe wielding madman Saul Peabrook. No time for remorse, I had to think of a way out of enemy territory. Whilst deciding on best plan of action I see Peabrook collecting his safe. I pull out trusty sidearm, the spirits of fallen comrades guiding me, I take aim and shoot. Vengeance, cold as Ural winters, was mine.
Saul Peabrook reports : -
I thought I'd learnt from last night....
With a feeling of Déjà vu I decided it would be prudent not to answer the door when I heard a knock for the second night in a row, leaving my french housemate to answer the door in my place. A wise decision as soon after I heard the scuffles of an assassin downstairs...
Realising I had left myself woefully underdefended I dashed for the grenade store / toilet to pick up some toilet tube looking grenades. I grabbed them and ran back into my room to prime the grenades for detonation. "These would be my back up weapons" I thought to myself. I had already decided on my weapon of choice...
Using superhuman strength I ripped my safe out of the floor as I spied my would be assassin lying on the stairs in wait for me with his bow. Without stopping to think I attacked, and moments later my would be assassin, Posh Jonnie, was just a stain on my stairs.
It was over I thought, and time to clean up the mess.... Going to collect the safe I had barely picked it up before I noticed something in the corner of my eye. The last thing I saw was the flash from a gun of a second assassin, how careless of me! Still, an eye for an eye....
unit twenty-five blows Blumpkin [Callum Thomson] to bits
unit twenty-five Reports : -
As of approximately 9PM this evening, i received intelligence that my target, Cal Thompson, was catching a train to the town of stoke at half past this hour. My plan immediately came into action, as i left my safe house in order to track him and blow him up.
You may be able to avoid my mines of death, but not even a bush can stop my grenade of death.
unit twenty-five Reports : -
As of approximately 9PM this evening, i received intelligence that my target, Cal Thompson, was catching a train to the town of stoke at half past this hour. My plan immediately came into action, as i left my safe house in order to track him and blow him up.
You may be able to avoid my mines of death, but not even a bush can stop my grenade of death.
Bumpkin Reports : -
Late one evening I exited my abode with a 'friend' to visit the Mrs. I decided to be nice and walk my bike with my 'friend' to the shops. Little did I know that my 'friend' had sold me out and told an assassin about my vulnerability. Only yards away from my house an assassin lunged from the bushes grenade in hand and blew me to smithereens.
Our friendship and my body is now in tatters...
Late one evening I exited my abode with a 'friend' to visit the Mrs. I decided to be nice and walk my bike with my 'friend' to the shops. Little did I know that my 'friend' had sold me out and told an assassin about my vulnerability. Only yards away from my house an assassin lunged from the bushes grenade in hand and blew me to smithereens.
Our friendship and my body is now in tatters...
Johnny Foreigner Reports : -
Only 24 hours after my sudden demise at the hands of Crazy_Ivan, my housemate (and conspirator in my death) announces that he would be departing for a nearby hamlet (Stoke) to visit his lady-friend.
As circumstances would have it, at around that time, another assassin got in touch with me, seeking information on my housemate. "Don't get mad, get even" I thought.
Minutes later, I departed our residence with my housemate, to accompany him as far as our local market where I could acquire dairy and produce (Asda).
But as we rounded a street corner, the assassin burst out of the shadows, grenade in hand! Although his first throw fell short of the mark, lady luck was on his side - the grenade did not detonate. While my doomed housemate struggled to maneuver his one-man carriage (bicycle), the assassin hurled the grenade a second time. This time his aim was true.
Ned wynning slaughters Unit twenty-five [Andrew (Andy) Worstencroft]
ned wynning Reports : -
I ran.
and ran.
towards the glorious safe house that provided entertainment for zero fee.
I ran.
and ran.
I saw my target and friend exit the house and head towards the local convience store.
I lied.
I befriended my target searching the goods and feeble items.
We exited.
I slid my blade from within the jacket sleeve.
In one terrible slice.
His head.
The floor.
Unit twenty-five reports : -
As i wanted some sweet food to enjoy while watching a film, i went to the local shop with a comrade. On the way there i ran into my would be assassin, who shyed away from me at first suspecting an attack, but luckily for him, i did not have him as a target. I was on my guard in case he did have me though, and for a bit he didn't go for me.
My guard dropped for a second, and that's when his knife slit my throat.
ned wynning Reports : -
I ran.
and ran.
towards the glorious safe house that provided entertainment for zero fee.
I ran.
and ran.
I saw my target and friend exit the house and head towards the local convience store.
I lied.
I befriended my target searching the goods and feeble items.
We exited.
I slid my blade from within the jacket sleeve.
In one terrible slice.
His head.
The floor.
Unit twenty-five reports : -
As i wanted some sweet food to enjoy while watching a film, i went to the local shop with a comrade. On the way there i ran into my would be assassin, who shyed away from me at first suspecting an attack, but luckily for him, i did not have him as a target. I was on my guard in case he did have me though, and for a bit he didn't go for me.
My guard dropped for a second, and that's when his knife slit my throat.
ned wynning goes on a killing spree, even crazy_ivan could not stop he blood-bath
Ned Wynning reports : -
A long day of winning our tournament, and i noticed the awesome assitance to the tournament was provided by my target.
As we exited the arena.
I slowly drew my trusty knife out and plugged it into is neck.
I appologized to the rotten corpse and hide my knife away.
Rest in peace dear friend, you are now free
A box of cookie [Ant Edwards] crisp reports : -
I found boxy self spending time at a local Frisbee tournament where several assassins were likely to be, since the place was a safe zone i was calm throughout most of the time.
I was still cautious, When it came to leaving i made my best to be one of the last to leave under the guise of helping out a human being.
With one of my corners prepared to fight whoever was waiting outside.
So it came to minor surprise when i felt a cold sharp blade pierce my cardboard exterior as my crispy insides spilled all over the car park.
If i were lucky charms at least id have a joke to end this with
ned wynning later later reports : -
as i exited the SU preparing for my weekend of preparation for hopefulyy what will be my new job.
a strange figure lingered..
He talked to me as usual..
he approached slowly..
very suspicious i began to turn and walk away..
he yelled..
I RAN..
WE RAN AND RAN
continually i heard grenades going off around me
i saw a safe spot with the uni building in a revolving dorr that would keep me safe
I got to it
safe i was.
I am not 100% sure if any grenades got me and i definitly kept my distance from the assassin although he was fast.
So i leave it to his report to decide if i have lost a life or not .
Im pretty sure i got away, but we will see :D